8/14/2024 - yeah it's that kind of time

Feeling: Eeeugh...

 I'm not gonna ramble on for too long but there's too much I want to do to relieve my stress due to ongoing personal matters.
 I want to make progress on my ongoing fics. I want to make another video game music playlist. I want to draw stuff that'll help me cope with my situation if anything. Make progress on my Pop'n Music shrine. Watch comfort shows. Attempt to learn more cooking and baking recipes. There's just too much I want to do in my free time.
 I've also realized that it's going to take a lot, and I mean a LOT of courage and time to rewrite a certain fic, despite attempting to start the planning process. I'm still trying to move on and heal from my experiences in the fandom/community, and that definitely is going to take a long time.

7/1/2024 - Disability Pride Month and Other Updates

Feeling: Okay
Eating: mini pancakes
Playing: Super Monkey Ball Banana Rumble

 Buckle up, this is a bit of a long entry. I have some things to say about the month in general, this site, and gaming updates.
 Pride month may be over... but it's disability pride month now. That's right, two pride months in a row. I know some people are tempted to also call July "wrath month" and I honestly welcome it. Wrath of the disabled if anything. We shouldn't make it a competition on which community has it worse (especially since there are a lot of people who fall into both categories, myself included), since there's still a lot that we need to fight when it comes to both disabled and LGBTQ+ rights. The world may be hostile at the moment, but I hope that it will be much kinder to disabled and LGBTQ+ people someday.
 As for this site, I decided I'll have a scheduled upload of sorts regarding my art. I'll be updating the art gallery on around the 10th, 20th, and 30th of the month. This way it's less erratic in that regard. I'm also working on updating the Super Monkey Ball shrine and making progress on a shrine dedicated to miss Lolo Lunatea's Veil herself. I'm also prepping a fic corner where all of my writing will be archived from now on.
 Regarding gaming, I started Klonoa: Moonlight Museum in late June! It's a very charming experience and I honestly love that it takes place in an art museum. Funnily ironic since the game is in black and white, but hey. Mayhaps it can get the remake treatment someday. I've only completed the first two worlds but will continue the game as soon as I can. This also means that I've officially tried out and played all of the Klonoa games! I want to form more positive memories with Klonoa!!
 Super Monkey Ball Banana Rumble has also been incredible. I am not joking when I say it rivals the first two GameCube games in terms of level design. It literally is oozing with charm from the aforementioned level design, character customization, and the story cutscenes inbetween each world. The wait was absolutely worth it and I cannot recommend it enough.

6/8/2024 - I'll Keep on Trucking Along

Feeling: Okay
Drinking: grape slushie
Listening: Murmur Twins

 I'm not dead, don't worry. I've just been fixated on and playing through Paper Mario TTYD (I am not joking, I finished the game a few nights back and have been listening to the OST on and off to keep my mood up when needed). I absolutely understand why this game is so beloved. It feels much more improved compared to PM64 and I am super tempted to replay both games later on.

gonna ramble a tad bit, major spoiler warnings for TTYD

 Oh, Vivian. Vivian my absolute beloved. The fact that she struggles with being bullied by her sisters (especially when it's revealed that her realizing she's trans makes the bullying feel much heavier than before), and coming out of her shell once she separates from them and teams up with Mario? Oh. Oh my god. OUGH her story had me sob a bit since I completely understand what it's like to be her situation. Let's just say that being able to battle Beldam in chapter 8 with Vivian on your side made things incredibly satisfying for me.

 I've also been working on the project that I want to unveil on the 17th! I'm cooking up something that I am very proud of and represents these characters very well.
 Also, before I forget, happy Pride. Can't believe I get three months in a row /j (for reference, April is Autism Acceptance Month, May is both my birthday month and Mental Health Awareness Month, and June is Pride Month).

5/23/2024 - TTYD Remake Day!!

Feeling: Pretty good

 It's TTYD remake day!!!! Several friends and I are very excited for the game!!! The day may have only just rolled over to the 23rd here, I'm hoping to find a physical copy during the day! I had such a lovely time with PM64, so I'm really looking forward to finally seeing what TTYD is all about and why it's such a beloved game!! I'll be jumping off of twitter for a bit so I can avoid spoilers (yes, twitter in specific since I know people can get VERY trigger happy with posting untagged spoilers on there especially).
 I've also been catching up on TailsTube while working on several projects (the upcoming fankid project, as well as some artworks for a close friend's ship week). The Knuckles episode in specific literally had me hollering in laughter.

5/14/2024 - Some Thoughts

Feeling: Neutral
Drinking: water
Eating: Mac and cheese
Listening: FFVII - Flowers Blooming in the Church

 Been having many thoughts lately. About what to draw for my zine project, more revisions I need to make for this site, the future, just life in general. Things are starting to turn back to normal for me around here. I'm actually glad that it's a bit more quiet and that I can actually help out a bit more when I can. Maybe that's part of why April felt so long to me.
 I guess that's part of what birthdays do to you as you get older? Yeah, I survived another trip around the sun (which I didn't think I'd survive), but I have no idea what to do in general. Not sure what to place for future goals. Not sure if it's due to the fact that it's an election year or what, but it's been a mood for a good chunk of this year. Eh, c'est la vie.
 I do need to work on the ShiftyLook shrine, but it's been difficult being able to continue it (I'm admittedly a bit afraid of people attacking me over my opinions on one specific comic/character in particular), so it's on hold for now. I'll figure something out, but for now, I'll focus on other projects!

5/9/2024 - It's Not "Cringe", It's Art (but it's a project I'm planning)

Feeling: A bit lightheaded
Drinking: water

 I want to make a zine. I'm not talking those expensive "zines" (I'll elaborate), but a free zine that can be printed on a single sheet of paper. I'm not letting my anxiety stop me even if it's been back and at it again lately (don't ask). There's no set theme yet, but I am heavily leaning toward focusing on fankids since I've been the most comfortable drawing them lately. It'll be a classic eight page zine that can be printed on a single page. Maybe I'll add a cute poster as a little bonus if I have the energy and am up to it?
 I really hate when people call those fancy 50+ dollar fanart books with artists picked purely based on popularity (and sometimes even have those fancy acrylic charms/stickers/buttons/etc included as bonuses) "zines". Those are anthologies/fanbooks, not zines. To me, those are usually made with money and popularity points in mind and feel more corporate if anything! It takes away from the original meaning of what a zine is supposed to be. Zines are meant to easily accessible and made with accessibility in mind, more organic than corporate. And I want this zine project that I am planning to be something that is easily accessible and actually has a lot of love put into it.
 I'm gonna start small with the fankids and figure things out after then. Might aim for a June 17th release since that is Skip and Sunny's birthday, but we'll see what happens. I do not want to burn myself out on what is supposed to be a passion project. I'll be going at my own pace since I know this is a project that will require a lot of planning, and it'll be ready when it's ready.
 I'll add another thing to make this a tad more positive; my birthday went decently well. I won't say everything I got from family for my birthday, but the personal highlights were a Ribbon plushie and an AiAi figure, and a friend gifted me some Steam games! A few friends and a mutual also drew art for me, it was honestly very sweet ;v;

4/30/2024 - April's Finally Done

Feeling: Not sure if I can place it

 It's been a month. It's certainly been a month due to personal issues, and I'm hoping that May is at least a bit kinder to me. April showers bring May flowers, after all.
 I only got one game clear this month (aside from some Lost Branch runs and attempting to replay Sonic Battle and playing what I can of Puyo Puyo Puzzle Pop), which was Princess Peach Showtime. Super adorable game that has massive magical girl vibes. I'm admittedly not too sure what I want to clear for May, as the games I want to get this month (including the TTYD remake that I'm excited for) release after my birthday... ah well. That's just how it is for now.
 I will quickly say that the cheeseball man thing was something silly and lighthearted that I think we all needed in these dark times. While current events are important, we need more silly goofy things to balance things out, y'know!

4/24/2024 - Literally Doing my Best

Feeling: So normal
Drinking: Water

 I finished the Lidelle story in Puyo Puzzle Pop with a friend (as in. we recorded it and everything.) and I am so normal right now. Like literally a good chunk of today was dedicated to this game and I think I am back in the building again.

here, I'm summarizing it right here because I need to infodump, spoiler warnings for Lidelle's story

 Lidelle's wish was to be confident like Raffina and Rulue... and of course, Meena grants said wish for her via a spell. And that leads to some wild shenanigans. She realizes at the end, when the Dark Prince reverses this spell, that she's okay being the way she is, anxiety and all. She may be more shy and anxious, but she is a very sweet, caring girl. She literally is just like me for real and her story made me tear up a bit. I'm actually rather happy that they tackled her worries about being shy, gives her a bit more character development if anything ;_;

 But yeah. I am normal about this. This was the good thing for today. Good end to a very wild April. Might be a good time to make some comfort food to eat, too.

4/20/2024 - Will I be okay?

Feeling: Numb
Drinking: Water

 Still trying to process things from yesterday evening. I will not be going into specifics about what I saw, but it was something that I had been trying to avoid for my own safety for quite some time, and thus made me incredibly anxious. I'm already good at curating my own space, it just sucks when I encounter these kinds of things in conditions where I can't exactly do so.
 I don't think I'll be able to continue Splatfest on my own (I only would be stable if a few specific pals were with me if anything) due to it. It sucks, especially since this was something I was really looking forward to, but I have to prioritize my mental health.
 But also. Forget the people who don't like me and/or try to make me anxious, I'm not responsible for the version of me that's in their heads. I've got the power of friends who I have strong bonds with and comfort media on my side.

4/10/2024 - April's an Experience

Feeling: Doing my best
Listening: Future Parade
Drinking: Water

 Apologies for not writing an entry for a while. This month's been quite the wild ride so far. It's mostly personal stuff that I'd much rather not delve into, but I'm doing my absolute best and things are definitely looking up for the most part.
 I got to do a late night walk with a relative who's visiting last night, and it was much more pleasant than I had expected. Also have done a lot of VC sessions with friends lately, since one of them is showing us Puyo Puyo Puzzle Pop (most of us in the friend group do not have Apple. While I actually do have an iPad to play this game on, I'm waiting to renew my sub until Lidelle is added!) I also got to attend a party and actually make new friends in person for the first time in a while.
 ...I think I actually do have hope. Despite this year being rather wild, I have some hope. It's good to focus on the positive things in life, even if it only helps for a little bit. That's better than nothing at all.
 Happy Autism Acceptance Month, by the way! ❤️♾🌈

3/27/2024 - *yells into the distance*

Feeling: Content (Doing my best)
Listening: Ojamajo Carnival

 It just dawned upon me that one of my favorite videos ever is three years old. Three years of Fuck it up, Farmer Ted...

 I actually have Balan Wonderworld. Mayhaps I'll play more of it (or just watch playthroughs if it gets to be too much for me). I'm aware that it's not a very good game, but I am one who loves dream-themed games. Think of it more like a guity pleasure if anything when it comes to this game.
 On another note. Ojamajo Doremi revival. I'm HYPED. I'm excited to see Doremi and friends once more and I hope this leads to a new anime series in the future!!

3/19/2024 - The High School Nostalgia is Very Real

Feeling: Content
Listening: Mappy
Eating: Cereal with milk

 I started working on a ShiftyLook shrine. The main and archive pages are done, but making little pages on each comic/animation that I personally have nostalgia for (I am only just realizing that ShiftyLook is twelve years old, time flies) is going to take a while, but it will be absolutely worth it.
 I'm basically guaranteed to be making pages for Bravoman, Wonder Momo, Katamari, Klonoa, Dig Dug, Golly Ghost, Mappy, and maaaaybe Rocket Fox, since those are what I have the most nostalgia for. Might see if I can read the other comics that I didn't really give a chance back in high school, that could be fun!
 While I have experience with Namco High, I'm still bitter about Lolo's characterization in the game to this day, so I probably won't be talking about it unless I do a playthrough with another character. My memory for the Bravoman mobile game is fuzzy at best and I have never played the Wonder Momo mobile game, so I won't be able to document those for myself either. I think there's gameplay for both uploaded on YouTube iirc?

3/16/2024 - Real Pop'n Hours 2, Childhood Dream Fulfilled edition

Feeling: All Smiles (quite literally!)
Listening: Pochiko's Daily Life of Happiness

 I went to a local con today. To my surprise and delight, they actually had a Pop'n Music machine there!! I've been a Pop'n player since my late elementary years, so I've wanted to be able to play the arcade version of the game for over a decade now. It kinda feels surreal that one of my childhood dreams has been fulfilled!! Definitely something checked off of my bucket list for sure!
 While the buttons are much bigger than the controller I have at home, it wasn't hard for me to play hyper difficulty charts! I had started with a normal difficulty chart to help me get started, but realized it wasn't that much harder than the PS2 version, so I had quickly switched to hyper difficulty. Though I will also add I got tired easier than when I played on keyboard and PS2. Fun time, 10 out of 10, would absolutely play if I ever come across it again.

3/9/2024 - Miku Day (but Teto)

Feeling: Content
Drinking: Water
Listening: April Star

 I know it's Miku Day, but I had the thought of making a Teto shrine because I care her immensely to this day. I adore Vocaloids such as Miku and Rin, but there's something special about Teto to me, especially with how she rose to fame in the first place. She literally started as an April Fool's joke, but ended up becoming something much, much bigger with her UTAU voicebank and SynthV voice. I know it may be silly to think since she's fictional, but if Teto can make it this far, maybe I can too!

3/7/2024 - Oh Goodness

Feeling: Overwhelmed
Drinking: Calypso
Listening: various game music

 The world's been overwhelming and scary for many reasons. I wish it could quiet down, even if for just a little bit (it probably won't). I just haven't felt 100% lately due to that, y'know? I'm ensuring that I still take care of myself either way.
 On a bit of a brighter note, I'll be putting some artworks that were originally meant for a project I was releasing this season (but quietly cancelled) into the art gallery. It got incredibly overwhelming to even make progress on this project, since some incredibly sour memories sadly kept popping up. There are a few things I at least want to share from it that I'm rather proud of. One of these was even a redraw of something from 2016, to "cleanse" it from memories of certain events if anything.
 I also played the Princess Peach Showtime demo last night. It was super cute and I am actually going to pick the game up when it releases. The demo actually won me over!
 I'm thinking of completely redoing the layout of this site to test my coding abilities a bit. It'll keep me calm, too.

3/4/2024 - Real Pop'n Hours 1

Feeling: Good
Drinking: Water
Listening: no thoughts, head empty part 6

 I actually got to play some Pop'n Music on the PS2 for the first time in ages. Had to go with my favorite console version, Pop'n Music 13 Carnival! I actually had a blast tackling some songs that are harder for me to play on emulator (no PS2 to USB in my possession atm, just keyboard for PC).
 I even got a full combo on Kibou no Tane's hyper chart! This was a song that I personally felt was relatively easy for a level 31 chart, and I wanted to see if I could FC it on console at the very least. I'm very excited to try this song on the arcade cabinet, should I ever encounter it!

3/1/2024 - It's Finally March!

Feeling: Calm
Playing: Touhou: Lost Branch of Legend

 It's finally March!!! I really do hope that this month will at least be a little bit kinder to all of us. I've realized there are literally four idol birthdays to start the month; Ayumu Uehara (Love Live) today, Kohane Azusawa (Project Sekai) tomorrow, Onpu Segawa (Ojamajo Doremi) on the 3rd, and Hanamaru Kunikida (Love Live) on the 4th! I honestly find that to be a very funny coincidence if anything.
 I'm also really looking forward to Princess Peach Showtime later this month. It genuinely looks so cute, and all of the outfits look so fun to draw!
 We got to experiment with mac and cheese tonight. We combined two kraft flavors, white cheddar and thick n creamy. It tasted a lot better than I expected, and having two different pasta shapes was rather fun! Being able to experiment with food is always very nice!

2/27/2024 - Melodic Survival

Feeling: Neutral
Listening: Some of the many, many Pop'n Music songs
Drinking: Hint water

 When I had woken up, I had opened tumblr and twitter to quickly check the Pokémon Presents stuff, but was flooded with negative news (while some things are important, I didn't want to make myself panic by seeing too much news, y'know?). I realized during my tumblr/twitter hiatus that life's a lot less stressful when you're not using social media (twitter especially), so I'm likely going to have my hiatus last a bit longer. Maaaybe I'll be just limiting myself to posting art and links to my streams when I'm easing myself back in regarding the latter. I'm thinking of coming back at maaaybe sometime in the second week of March if all goes well, but I'll be limiting myself with it.
 Game-wise, I finished Numazu in the Mirage last night! I am not going to spoil what happens, but I will say that I did not expect it to have me crying at one point. As stated before, I'm very excited for the upcoming DLC and am very curious how things will change for each character.
 I also am making a very large playlist of songs from Pop'n Music, one of my all-time favorite rhythm games. Since there's over twenty entries in the series... there's going to be at least two hundred songs in this playlist. As of writing this, I'm currently in Pop'n 14 in terms of gathering songs for this thing (I'm going by numerical order). There are 163 songs on the playlist at the moment. Pop'n Music has a ton of songs and each one is unique in its own way, and I adore that.
 I'm debating on playing some Pop'n or something else tonight? I have also realized that I did not play the current Project Sekai EN event, Kick it up a Notch, as much as I wanted. To be fair, there's been a lot of personal things going on. I'll play when I can and attempt to save for fes AkiKoha and the Sanrio collab. I do still love Project Sekai, but I've been focusing a lot on Love Live due to SIF2 shutting down during the spring. Even if SIF2 sucks for various reasons, I want to make the most of it. It had some really gorgeous card art.
 I'm also glad that February is almost done. While I do like Valentine's Day, it's often been a very tiring month for me mentally, so I'm patiently waiting for March. I'm really hoping that March will at least be a bit kinder to all of us.

2/26/2024 - Magic Cards and Monkeys

Feeling: A bit excited!
Playing: Yohane the Parhelion: Numazu in the Mirage
Drinking: Water

 Let's start with a game-related entry, shall we! I've been playing Yohane the Parhelion: Numazu in the Mirage to keep myself grounded due to things that have been going on, and it's been helping quite a bit. With how the gacha scene's been going for Love Live in general (two games shutting down last year, and SIF2 shutting down in the spring), I'm very glad that it looks like they're shifting focus to console games, with both Yohane games and the upcoming Nijigasaki visual novel. I've yet to watch the Yohane spinoff, but the game has been incredibly fun! Deckbuilders in general are fun, and I'm wanting to try more someday after playing this and Touhou: Lost Branch of Legend. I'm excited for the future DLC where you can play as the other girls. So far it's just the Azalea girls that are confirmed for DLC, but I will be buying whatever DLC pack Ruby is in (and maybe the Azalea pack as well, Hanamaru's also too precious imo).
 Super Monkey Ball Banana Rumble has also been on my mind! I'm suuuper excited for it! This is the first new Super Monkey Ball entry we've had in years that isn't a remake, so I am incredibly excited to see where things will go from here. Palette, the new character, is incredibly precious. I've only known her for like five days but I'd do anything for her. I've been debating on if I should try playing some Banana Mania again to celebrate. I'm drawing some fanart of these lil monkey pals and their brand new designs. Ooooh my gosh they're too cute. I'm so happy that I grew up with this series.